Dig into Mumbai's telephone directory...
and you will find 5,940,369 Rahuls
But the Telephone Company has no idea...
that our Rahul stepped into this city two years ago
And today, he's moving into a new apartment
From 1500 square feet to his own two feet
The reason is his friend Karan Pandey. - Stop staring and throw his things out
Don't kick me, okay? I know we haven't paid the rent
The two met at the Institute of Fashion Design
They passed with flying colours. Reason - Karan
You named your summer collection Naked Truth...
and made all the models wear underwear on the ramp
You are rusticated!
Ma'am, the balance fee is refundable...?
You said we'll hire a new apartment, but this is our old building
Yes. We used to enter from the front before, now we take the rear entrance
Despite being an amazingly talented designer...
Rahul could never climb the ladder of success
As far as climbing is concerned, Karan towers above all!
The swine covered up everything
I don't believe it! We're back in the same flat
And we're not paying the rent either. - Well, did we ever pay the rent?
As for jobs, both were damn lucky. If young boys...
are given the job of dressing up young girls...
who cares for less pay?
Besides, neither cash...
nor credit card they survive on credit
I don't trust you one bit
I'm giving you guys the suits only because of Rahul
I misread it!
Sure, we'll return your suits. - That's what I said
"We are so cool"
Don't ask where they are going all dressed up
They are embarking on an important mission
You're driving, aren't you?
I'm famished. No wedding today, no christening either
No death, no birthday either. How do we find food tonight?
Food, food! You are always harping "food"
Why don't you think about booze? - Don't you talk about booze
You know, after booze, I just need that!
True, I too need that
I mean, sleep! - I'm talking about bed too
Here's the solution to their problem. School party
A school they never went...
and a party where they were never invited. Check it out
Park it properly. - Check the air too
This is exactly why I don't take him to five-star hotels
Carry on, I'll be right back
What's for dinner? - Lots
Turn to me every five minutes
Your name? - Hi Guddu! Come over here
Guddu
I don't get to see you, pal. - I don't see you either
Guddu, isn't she Julie? She was as flat as a carom board in school
She's turned into a bank now. - True
But how did that happen?
She worked at Silicon Valley for two years
Did you hear? Sanju might be coming tonight from America
What? Sanju? The entire school was mad after Sanju
Are you kidding? - No
It's been so long!
Yes. Sanju has been living in America for the last 12 years
Sanju from America? Must be a real playboy
Sanju will have to treat us to a party
What for? - Don't you know? Sanjana has won...
the Miss America crown this year. - Really? That calls for a bash
Wait... just one!
Lay off!
Have you seen my Naina? - Forget Naina. Did you see that boy?
You're incorrigible, sir! Stop experimenting at this age
Written down all the names? Check that boy out
Remember me?
Lovely! You even remember my roll number
Number 69 is hard to forget
I haven't forgotten your Chemistry class either
When my maid sprays disinfectant to clean the toilet, it reminds me of you
But you... - And your unique way of teaching...
"Say it, say it... this is ammonium"
Your name? - But that tune is a latest one...
Excuse me... - Just tell me who you are!
Or, I'll kick you out!
It's you!
When did you return from America?
Who is Sanju? - A real playboy
But I don't look like him. - All are meeting after 12 years
Look who's here. Sanju, from America
Let me introduce you...
But Sanju used to be a girl...?
"We are so cool"
"We have the guts"
"The cool breeze of love..."
"passes through my street"
"Loverboy, madcap, loafer..."
"they all call me"
"My eyes stray, my feet waver..."
"help me"
"All the girls woo me"
"I can't help it, I'm so cool"
"They want to meet me in the open or on the sly..."
"I can't help it, I'm so cool"
"I'm every girl's desire"
"Every girl says, I'm on fire"
"Obviously, I'm so cool"
"Tell me how to find love"
"Teach me how to woo girls"
"Buddy, good times will come..."
"your luck will shine too"
"Now that I have taken you as my guru..."
"please show me the way"
"In love, I'm lost"
"I don't care about the world"
"You and I are beyond compare"
How did he turn a rustic?
"Everyone here talks about you and me"
"Come, let me lock you in my arms"
"Don't leave me restless"
"Help me out, buddy"
"Make my fate look up"
"Be like me"
"Heed me... stop shying"
You got us into trouble again! Sanju, eh?
I had no idea Sanju was a girl
What a life! Lunch on credit, but punch on the spot
I warned you not to play blind
Even my father didn't humiliate me like this, while kicking me out of the house
Don't remind me of father
While leaving Delhi, he came to drop me at the station
With tears in his eyes, he said... - Said what?
Promise me, son, that you will never return!
There's a bird. - At this hour?
Must be a bat. - Not the flying type
The cruiser type. Over there
Not our standard. Her father must surely be a multimillionaire
Marry her, and he'll make you a millionaire
Damn it! Had to break down now
They don't make Mercedes the way they used to
Why didn't you buy a Ferrari? - That's what I went to buy
But there was only one Ferrari in the showroom, and Sachin was relentless
Tendulkar? - Yes. I sacrificed an expensive car
And he's reluctant to pay a small amount of tax
Mercedes? Mine too
The door just won't open
Opening is my forte
Give me a kiss
I mean... the keys
There's magic in your fingers
My eleventh finger wields the real magic
Why don't you show it to me? - Not here
Let's go where there's nobody else
Where do I leave the Mercedes? - At Krishna Cottage
Can I ask you a question?
Do you have a boyfriend, Viagra...?
I mean, friend?
My problem is that, I like Muslim boys for their size...
and Gujarati boys for their bulk
And finding such a combination is impossible
By the way, you haven't told me your name
Naseeruddin Shah! - Perfect!
Which means, you are an actor
Oh no, I'm not
Lord, he's destined to rise...
while I'm reduced to climbing the back wall
The Commissioner wants you, sir
But I had called the constable. - I'm a constable, sir
Then why don an inspector's uniform? - I'm an inspector, sir
Inspector and constable! Two posts? - I'm an inspector, sir
My surname is Havaldar (Constable). I am Havaldar
I mean, I'm an inspector but my name is Havaldar
Shut up! Your case seems to be rather complicated
This is the fifth instance of rape and murder in two months
What are you doing about it? - Shaking it!
What! - I mean, shaking the police force
If we can't solve this case, we'll take some expert's help
What expert? - An expert in rape and murder
What...? - I mean, who's solved such cases
What could be the motive?
Pastime. - What? Pastime?
When it is a rape, the motive is clear... Sex
But he can spend money to have sex
Not every one is as lucky as you are, lady
How can you say that only one man is behind all this?
Because we have found a rose beside the dead body this time too
And as usual, a part of the body is missing
What part is missing this time, sir? - This time, it is...
Well, I can't say that on tv
Who is the suspect?
He's an ordinary man like you and me
But behind that innocent face...
lurks a dirty, murderous monster
I'm sorry Mrs Gaitonde, I'm helpless
I don't know you but for me you are cow
You won't tell anyone, will you?
Did we ever tell? - No
The day I lay my hands on you and your doll, I'll fix you!
My suit is ruined!
The lispy launderer is going to kill me
Someone has instigated you, sir
There's no ghost in this house
I'm selling it cheaper than the market price...
because I need money
It's the landlord. I think I'll have to vanish again
Welcome. It's a fully furnished flat
Round the clock electricity, water and air. The view is for free
Bring your wife over, and start living here
Why? Can't I bring someone else? - Of course, you can
One minute
I was busy
Who... are you?
Not yet christened
Why?
Not born again yet
I'm looking for a body
Looking for me? - Yes, yes
I can go anywhere Into your phone too
Phone? Why?
Incoming is free, right?
Where...? - You'll give me your body
Hail Hanumana, Ocean of Wisdom, Fountainhead of Power
You illuminate the three worlds! - Evil forces, demons, ghosts fear...
the sheer mention of Thy great name! - This ghost chants holy mantras too!
Ghost! Ghost!
People have such misconceptions!
I told you! They don't stay here! Get out of here
Why don't you understand? They gave me this address...
to come and collect the tooth (suits). - Shut up
They had hired the suits. I'm a launderer
How vulgar! You filthy man
I won't spare you! I have supplied suits to famous men
Get lost!
Ghost! Ghost
What's going on? One is raving "Ghost" and the other is raving "Tooth"
Popat at the back and the landlord in the front. How do I go?
This is the seventh prospective buyer who ran away as if he has seen a ghost
Ghost...? - What happened? Why are you scared?
Did you also see the ghost? - Yes, sir. Thrice
Where? - On a CD
On our Seedi (Staircase) ? - No, on a pirated CD
Not movies, idiot! I'm talking about real ghosts
Karan and Rahul don't sneak into my flat, do they?
What are you saying, sir? How can a full grown man escape my sight?
No one can escape my eyes!
Really?
Who is this?
Been like this since birth? - Yes
Ta ke ca re
Poor guy! He'll be single all his life
No darling, God gives a partner to every one
Hasn't He made you for me?
That's why I say, God is so unfair. - Let's go inside
Auto rickshaw! Over here
You can escape every one, but how long will you escape yourself?
Read my palm and tell me what's writ for me
Forget the palm, son. I can read your face
Shani (Saturn) is angry with you. Sunny Deol...
I mean, Shani
Give me 1000 bucks. I'll perform a ritual for you, outside the city
I don't have
800? - No
500?
200?
You must have 100? - No
Then how much do you have?
12.50, that's all
Then you needn't worry at all, son Even Shani can't harm you
Go on
He's got emotional
Listen...
You seem to be a gentleman, so I'll tell you something
Yes? - A girl will walk into your life
Girl? - Not an ordinary girl
She'll have a mole on her chest
Mole on her chest? - Yes
She will bring in good luck
You'll taste success. You will run ahead of the entire world
Where will I find that girl?
Search, and you'll even find God
Go find her.
What are you watching, punk? Want a punch?
What happened to you? - Well, last night...
I had gone with the Mercedes girl. - You met with an accident?
You've no idea, some women like it wild
That too, in a five-star hotel
Then? - She dedicated everything to me
He said he's Naseerudin Shah and forced me into the car
I didn't know that he had stolen the car
Shut up! - I swear, she is the thief!
I did nothing, I just opened it. - What?
The door. - I'll tear you apart!
Then? - Into her bedroom. Deluxe suite
Slowly, she undressed
Then? - Then...
she tied up my hands
Look sir, don't you hit me! - Why not?
Your fingers wield magic, don't they? - They used to
Silence!
Why did you stop? Go on
She took my belt off
You'll open it, eh?
You'll open your mouth, eh? You won't open anything any more
How long did it last? - I was conscious for ten minutes
I don't know what happened later. Once I came out...
I wasn't able to walk. - Then how did you reach here?
She dropped me... in her Mercedes
True. This is the trend with girls of late... Stay the night, forget the rest
But she won't be like this
She?
Who? - The one who will bring me good luck
Who will bring you good luck? - The girl who has a mole on her chest
Yes. An astrologer told me that...
this girl will walk into my life and change everything
Do something. Find a girl first, then stick a mole on her chest
Else, in trying to find a girl of that type you will get us both whacked
I believe, the girl who'll change my destiny will certainly come
I don't know about yours... but mine is here
Where will I find Mr D.K?
You...? - Well, Kiran...
C'mon!
What are you doing here?
"The moment I saw you, the moment I knew you..."
"I lost my senses"
Busted!
If Boss sees you drooling, you are dead. C'mon!
Go and tell Kiran stop hassling me
What you are doing is wrong
Are you going to tell me what's right and what's wrong?
If some Kiran calls up for me, I'm not available
Say that I'm not in
Say that I wasn't in. In fact, say anything.
Say that I'm dead
What's this beauty spot?
Massage... I mean, social work. - Are you contesting an election?
Social work!
When must I leave?
Tonight?
And yes, write D.K Bose
Else, they'll announce Bose Decay at the airport
I worked hard all night
How are they?
Will I get the credit for my designs this time, sir?
William Shakespeare said, "What's there in a name?"
Right, sir. But he wrote his own name below the line
Because he was William Shakespeare. His name was his trademark
Summer collections designs...
Have the two of you made all arrangements for tonight's party?
Tonight's show, MTV Style Nite...
D'you guys have good clothes? Suits?
Sure
Don't pick them up from my store, like you did last time
1500...? - Suits!
For whom? - For big stars like Amitabh Bachchan
Sheikh Mehboob... - Sheikh Mehboob?
Yes, Sheikh Mehboob. Dubai's star
Is my laundry famous as far as Dubai? - Yes
Then take it. Is the order confirmed? - Confirmed?
Here are the telephone numbers of all stars. Call up and book orders
Amitabh Bachchan! Shahrukh...
Return my suits tomorrow
Also return those two took before
But we won't find you tomorrow
What do you mean? - Breakfast with Amitabh
Lunch with Salman
Dicky, you're famous
"What's come over me?" "You touched my heart"
"How do I live..."
"without you?"
"Why did you steal my heart"
"My heart..."
"My love, listen to me just once"
Stop flirting. I told you I'm going to America for a month, didn't I?
Pack up all our stuff and send it to the store
Sir, he...
Bloody massage work!
Did anyone tell you your fingers wield magic?
C'mon, get in!
Thanks for the honour. You have a big heart...
Why did you stop? Press
A mole?
Over there? - Yes
Mole on the chest? - Don't you believe me?
Nothing of that sort. - Go, woo her, marry her...
and then honeymoon in D.K's flat. - Keys to D.K's flat?
Fun for a month
I hate to always bank up my girls to spend the nights at five-star hotels
Go on. - Sure
But what am I to do?
Take this rose, and smile at her
If she responds positively, wink at her
And if she gets up and walks, she's calling you over
Go on
She looks outdated, but to update my luck, I must do it
She's calling you
Yes!
She wants privacy... I've wooed her! I'll check the mole
Hands off! - Oh no... the mole!
What happened, ma'am? - A young man came with a red rose...
you look that way! And he... you get it?
He rapes and murders women
What an advisor I chose! Thank God I escaped
I wonder what the woman might be thinking about me
You! - Look...
I just wanted to check if you have it
That's why... - Not here... go that way
I can't control! Help
I can't control it!
My pants! Hold me I can't control it
We'll do it. That's our job
What happened? - Firstly, we can't find the rapist
Now there's this new pimp called Popat
He calls up famous people and asks them if they need girls
Make an inquiry
Inspector, I shouldn't have left Hong Kong
This is not a Chinese food stall, this is a police station
That's why I'm here to lodge a complaint
Tell me
Someone tried to rape me
You? - Yes
Are you sure it's him?
Yes, sir. The lady said he carried a red rose
After every murder a rose is found near the corpse. And a chain-saw...
to cut the body up. I'm sure he's our man
The moment I get his description...
I'll lock him up!
I don't want to take any chances on this case
That's why, as I said...
I'm appointing an expert to solve this case
An expert? - Yes. Dr Screwwala
Dr Screwwala is a practicing doctor
But he has mastered in criminal psychology
I've known him ever since he was a professor in the Delhi University
He has greatly contributed in nabbing hardcore criminals all over the world
He's just returned after a stint with Scotland Yard
At my personal request, he has agreed to help us solve this case
Mind you, let him work according to his methods
Because he has his own theory for solving such cases
Did you forget something?
Not the wallet, you forgot to wear your trousers
Where's the wallet? - Inside the trousers
It's logic. The trousers come with the wallet
Don't use your theory to forget me
How can I ever forget you...?
Who's that?
And listen, you won't take up any dangerous case
You escaped death at the railway yard in Scotland Yard, remember?
You swore not to take up any case
You promised me that you'll only be a doctor
I'll be there in five minutes, Commissioner
A little compact... spooky
Hair, exactly like you Spiked, unkempt
Nose... not like that
I'm Inspector Constable. Actually I am...
An inspector. The name is Constable. - The Commissioner was right
You are really special. Are you looking for something?
I found two, looking for another. - Three?
You are extra-special, sir
This is Dr Screwwala, the famous criminal psychologist
Do as he says
Confirmed my suspicion. She's the victim
You are special, sir. But how did you find out with the help of balls?
Inspector Constable, haven't you read my thesis?
Read it, and you'll understand everything
First murder in Kalyan, then Kandivali, Kanjurmarg, Kurla...
Kalbadevi, and the last attempted murder at Khar
All the names start from K. He loves the alphabet K
Got it! Kisses And Misses, Keen, Kick the future"
Sir, I have a male suspect in mind
I have a female suspect in mind too Let's work together...
and our unity will bear results. - Who is Unity?
Goodness me! He's the one!
The rogue!
Found him!
This is the face that has robbed me of my peace. I won't spare him
I'll give his picture to the press! - You'll do nothing of that sort
If we arrest him only on the basis of a lady's statement...
any lawyer can get him out in a trice. And I don't want that
What do you want then? - I want to catch him red handed
Operation Fail starts now
Operation Fail? Why Fail, sir?
You'll know that after the operation succeeds
Pandit's tea and you are special!
Find out where he stays, where he eats, what he drinks...
where he wakes up, where he sleeps and who he sleeps with
Know what?
For such movies, Japan has made a special television
You can get inside the tv from behind
What are you saying?
Then how do they come out? - When it's fun inside...
why'd anyone come out?
They tried to hold me back, but with a heavy heart I ran away...
especially for you
Looks like they're calling you back. - It's the phone, ass
Hi, honey
Please don't hang up. Please listen to me
No one must know that we are at D.K's place
Look, we are not here
D.K, you can't change your voice and deceive me
I know you are there Why are you doing this to me?
What is my fault? - Nothing
No one must find out
D.K, you faithless! You haven't done the right thing
You have seen Kiran's love
You haven't seen my wrath!
The girl who called, appeared hassled with D.K. Poor thing
Could she be Kiran? The one who had a spat with D.K outside the store?
Kiran or whatever! Stop meddling in D.K's affairs
Don't put us in any more mess
I just want to give her my shoulder. - Shoulder, eh?
If you give her your shoulder, D.K will be your pallbearer
There'll be three more pallbearers to help him
And you? What will you do? - I ?
I'll perform the last rites for you. - Stop the sermons
And do something about your love-life. Think about marrying
Your old lady with the mole, is getting older
Look, don't you remind me of that incident?
Food? - Take it
I don't know where she is. The one who holds my luck
Ma'am, I've brought him
Hold it
Damn Nerds, all of them
Is he the one?
Tell me. - Yes, he is the one
While I was on my way, he pinched my backside and passed lewd remarks
Is it? Go outside
Madam, actually... she sleepwalks, you see
That's why I pinched to wake her up
Waking her up, eh?
If my baton works...
you won't stand up, you won't be able to stand anything up either, swine
What's happening inside? - You are going to face it too
Don't worry Raghu, you have only picked a pocket
Inspector Urmila Marthodkar is a dangerous woman
She'll forgive a killer, but she'll kill an eve teaser or a flirt
Call for her. - Answer it
Madam is busy. What? It is urgent
Call, ma'am. - Who is it?
Sehwag's mother. - What...?
Some Kiran. I refused, but she says it's urgent
Ma'am, the rod is hot
You like to pinch the backside, right?
Shove it in!
Sub-inspector Urmila Marthodkar here. Who is it?
Kiran here
What do you want? - Inspector Marthodkar, I've heard...
that you go out of your way to help people like me who are betrayed in love
Hundred percent right. Looks like you've been betrayed too
Give me his name and address. I'll fix him
His name is D.K. We went steady for two years
But when I proposed marriage, he did a volte face
He doesn't even answer my phone calls now. Go over to his place
I wanted to go, but my parents are against this marriage
They've locked me up at home. If D.K doesn't cooperate...
I'll kill myself
No dear, don't say that
I'll only have to give your D.K a good dose
The rod is still inside - Remove it
And shove it inside
Give me his phone number and address
Karu!
I kept the iron box on, on Popat's suit
Is it Kiran?
He is... well, who is it?
I am Kareena. I've heard lots about him, but I never got to meet him
Could you please get him on the phone?
I am... D.K
I'm a great fan of your designs
Me too. - This year, I'm participating...
in the Ms Bhandup contest. - Bhandup?
How I wish you'd design my dress
Will you? - Sure, I will
That's what I'm made for. But why d'you need clothes to win a beauty contest?
My word! But in the application form it's written that clothes are mandatory
Yes, they are very strict these days. - I'll come over right now...
to give the measurements. It'll also be an excuse to meet you
A good deed is better done in a trice! Please come and give it to me
Finally you are D.K ?
But who is this D.K ? - A cur
Let me see why he won't come around
Heed me. What if the girl finds out?
She won't
She hasn't seen D.K. I am D.K for her. Try to understand
It's hot. - So I say, take care
Else it'll scald you
I told you to watch it
Now you take care of this and Popat
Bye-bye to D.K, my home is sweet home
Where are you? Vanished
The dogs gave me wrong phone numbers and got me thrashed
I won't spare you
A girl will walk into your life. She will have a mole on her chest
Watch it
Too less
I'll have to manage
Call your boss
I'm the boss
Are you D.K?
Any doubts?
Don't worry, I'm here Don't be afraid
You mean, one of our female officers will attract him...
And we'll catch him red handed
Nice idea. But why do you want a woman aged between 20 and 30 ?
She'll develop the context that leads to rape
And such sentiments will be aroused only if the girl is young
She should be gorgeous
But such sentiments arouse only on seeing an older woman
I wasn't talking about you. I was talking about the murderer
As you ordered, I handpicked four of the most beautiful females officers
Are they between twenty and thirty?
They appear so
Sir, this is Inspector Blossom
Constable Innocent
Inspector Gorgeous
This is inspector Shamsheen Gupta
Are they policewomen?
You may 9°
No more? - More?
There is. She should be coming any moment
Hot-tempered. She is known as 56 Down
Fifty-seven! Your D.K is the 57th man I've fixed
Whether he picks up anything or not, he'll surely pick up your phone now
Who is she? - Urmila Marthodkar
Will she do? - Got to do some fixing
Will do? - Yes.
Sir, if I wear skimpy clothes and welcome men...
let alone the rapist, even a normal man won't spare me
Well Dr Screwwala, it's normal, isn't it?
You think this man is normal?
See... the moment he looks at his watch, he remembers something
And risks his life...
to reach somewhere on time. Where?
Here's the answer
He knows that this girl comes to the balcony at this hour everyday
Watch
There's more. Seeing a girl posing like that would excite any man...
except the Commissioner. - Right, sir
This man's mind crosses all the limits of obscenity
When the fire of passion rises, watch what he does
He steps towards the girl, but she's lucky to be saved
And to douse the fire of lust, watch what he does... see
If these are his daytime exploits, imagine what he does at nights
No, it's not over yet
Here, it appears as if he's playing with the cat
But no... he's up to something else
Bloody cur!
Your gun's firing daily of late
The Mercedes girl first, and now this one
Who did you enjoy the most?
This one
Want to know the details? - Of course
Tell me. - She walked into my bedroom
Grand. - Isn't it? I knew it
In the bedroom? Wow! Then?
Then she grabbed my arm Her touch sent me...
into a tizzy
Then?
Leggy_! - You travelled In a buggy?
Not a buggy, ass! Her legs
So seducing... I grabbed them
Then? - She spread her silky tresses...
over my face, and swayed on and on
Honestly, I'm not D.K
Trying to con Urmila Marthodkar, eh? Damn you!
Then? - She took me inside the bathroom
Three of us in bathtub... - Three?
I, she...and... - The plumber?
Water! - Oh, water
Then? - The two of us lay in the water
I felt electricity pass through my body
The phone
D.K, Kiran here. Please don't hang up
Ms Kiran, I'll do as you say. But...I'm not D.K, honestly
What...? You are not D.K?
Then where is D.K? - The bloody swine...
ditched you and flew off to America
D.K ditched me and flew off to America?
Yes
Has he forgotten the nights spent at the bungalow in Juhu?
Bungalow in Juhu?
The promises he made in the backseat of my Mercedes!
Has he forgotten everything? - Ms Kiran...
if I was D.K, I'd never make you cry
I'd never ditch you
Really?
How I wish you had someone like me in your life
I wish! - Have you seen me before?
Ever since I've seen you, Kiran, I can't see anything else
You mean you love me truly? Aren't you after my money?
No, not at all. I'm only behind you
Always stay behind me! - And you always stay ahead
I love you too, honey
"My love, my honey..."
Help me... - I've stopped doing menial labour
What's that? - I've made it!
You warned me not to play blind. But I've hit jackpot
Car, bungalow, apartment, Kiran... all at one go!
How come? - I wooed Kiran
Boss' Kiran? - That's past tense
She belongs to me now. - She'll belong to another tomorrow
Such girls are unpredictable! Stay the night, forget the rest
Remember? - Get going, labourer
Don't tell me I didn't warn you
Get inside
What the hell...! It's stuck
Off you go! Stuck at the wrong place Off you go! It'll tear off!
I'll kill the swine right here!
What are you doing? D'you intend to bust Operation Fail...
on the very first day? We have to catch him redhanded
We don't need his naked hand. - But...
Listen... according to the plan, you will go to his house first
Let me see why you won't come off! Come off
Firstly, we need to change your appearance
Look, she needs a complete changeover
Turn this rustic into a modern girl
It's tough, but give it a try
"We are so cool"
Damn you!
Sorry ma'am, I didn't recognise you!
Shall I shove the rod in? - Not the rod!
It's working. He didn't recognise you
All you got to change now is your diction
Once I find a new job I'll be rid of D.K
The landlord! When will I be rid of him?
God, help sell it today
Welcome ma'am... see I'll show you around.
I want to see it alone - Alone? Why?
I'll be staying alone
All right, carry on. I'll be back in a while
A girl will walk into your life She'll have a mole on her chest
Yes...
Don't tell him I'm here, he'll kill me
No, I don't want to buy it. I want to hire it
No, I've tried that once and I still regret it
I won't lease it out again. - Then I'll leave
I don't know what's wrong with this flat. It just won't sell
Dr Screwwala? - Who's speaking?
He's taking bath
Please go outside
You didn't disclose your identity to my wife, did you?
No
She'll be shocked if she finds out
Stop suspecting!
Did you visit his house? - Yes
The cur has a real lewd gaze!
Careful with the language
Then?
I did a volte face, I said I won't buy it, I'd rather hire it
Did he hear you? - Yes
Now just do as he says He will surely chase you
Come here. C'mon
I overheard the conversation. You want to hire the house, don't you?
You will get it. You don't even have to pay the rent
You can stay there, like I do
But... - But?
How are you at climbing on top? - What did you say?
No one must find out, you see. So you got to climb up and down from the rear
By the way, nobody comes this way
Don't worry, just move in - When?
Tonight, 2 am
Hang on
What's your name? - Urmila
Please come at 2 am
What...? 2 am? In the dark? Climbing up without practice?
Will be tough
You're calling from a public phone, right?
Yes, from a public phone
Because I don't want my wife to find out your cellphone number
Call me on my cellphone. Hang up
Swine!
Stop suspecting me - Let me find out who called
Yes? - Some girl called just now
Countless girls come here to call
I can't remember all of them. I have to see my business too
What's your business? - Laundry
What...? - I press. Do you need my service?
I don't believe it! She has agreed
She's coming. The girl with a mole is coming home...
to live with me. The two of us will live together
Two of you? I'm also staying with you
Why don't you stay at boss' place for a while?
Boss' place?
Yeah, of late, I can't sleep without wearing his night suit
Well, how is your girl?
Things are pretty bad, pal
Her parents belong to Hitler's family
You didn't tell me Kiran comes from Germany
I mean, they are strict
The poor thing is locked up in a room
And I don't think I can live without her
"Dough"
I mean, I can't live without her dough
I've already settled down in her flat at Marine Drive
So what's your plan?
I'm going to her house today. I'll show them what I'm made of
They don't make handsome sons-in-law like me any more
Heads will roll! They'll freeze on seeing me
Your father used his ill-gotten wealth to build such a huge house
Sure, but we have to sell it now, because of Kiran
The buyer is coming to see the house, isn't he?
No, his son is coming
He's marrying soon. He'll stay here after marriage
Wow! The taller the bungalow, the deeper my love runs
You are crazy - Yes, crazy in love
He's so handsome
Who's this gender-mixup beside Kiran?
Isn't he from D.K's store...? - Yes
First D.K, and now this chap
I can't figure how you cast a spell on these lots
What have you got, that I don't? - Extra arm
He's coming upstairs! Now what?
I'm coming, honey! - Stop it, Kiran
It must be him. Welcome. - Welcome
This reaction was unexpected
Welcome. - My respects, lady
My respects, sir. - Bless you
Hi maid. Do they pay you on time? - She's my mother
Grandma!
For consolation, at least our stuff is going into good hands
True. What will you have, son? Tea? Cold drink?
Nothing. I'll eat and drink only after the wedding
Oh no, you have come here for the first time. Have something
Gatotkach! - Gatotkach?
Want to see around the house, son? - What's there to see around?
It is all mine. After the wedding, I mean
True, son. We'll be here only for a few days
Don't worry, grandma. I'll perform your last rites
Last rites? - Could be the rituals
Why not? The rituals are very necessary
So, do we consider it decided?
Honestly, I thought you folks will have objections
It happens. Giving your priced possession to a stranger...
Well... where's Kiran? - Kiran? Do you know Kiran?
You got a good sense of humour
Honey, they've locked me up here! Did my parents hurt you?
They are willing. Why have you locked Kiran up?
Hang on... who are you? - Who am I ? You're joking again
I'm your son-in-law to-be. Kiran's husband to-be
What...?
Are they carrying on...? - Silence!
You are the one who led Kiran astray!
Quick change of character, uncle! Why? - Shut up
You want to take undue advantage of Kiran's innocence. Get out of here
Look uncle... I'm here to seek an alliance. Show some respect
You should be ashamed to say...!
Ashamed? What for? I've come to seek Kiran's hand
You talk as if I've made Kiran pregnant
Good Lord! We are disgraced...
Shanti, listen to me... - Lady...Can I help?
Get out of here! Get out
Get out! Else, I'll hack you with this rusted sword
You'll die of tetanus!
Listen to me... - Get out, wastrel! Or, I'll hack you
Hack me! Take my legs, and I'll come by my hands
Take my hands, and I'll come by my back. If you cut my back...
I'll hack that very thing!
I'm off
Uncle, get this clear! Kiran is my love
Attack!
Good Lord
So tell me... what's your problem?
The problem is that I love boys
My brother too loves boys
Look, it's not hereditary... - It is, doctor
My father loves boys, my grandfather loves boys too
Even my great grandfather loves... - Hang on
Is there anyone at home who loves girls?
There is
Who? - My sister
Rekha, uncle Bhushan here, from Mumbai
Hello uncle, how are you? - I need your help
Sure, tell me - Can you come over for a few days?
In fact, I was planning to go on a holiday
These days, there are such cases that...I'm hassled!
How's Kiran? He's forgotten me
He's forgotten what he is
We have a terrible problem here. Kiran wants to marry
So what's the problem? - Rekha, Kiran wants to marry...
a man - What!
Kiran is a man... and he wants to marry a man?
Yes, dear.
Give him my number, doctor. - One minute!
What did you say? - Not you, uncle
Come in. Please
This is your room. Go to bed, we'll talk in the morning
Why are you screaming? Someone might listen
What the hell...?
What are you doing? - I came to wake you up
This way?
I came earlier, but you were asleep
So? - You looked very...
What? - beautiful
While you were sleeping, I thought I'd go and squeeze Mrs Gaitonde's milk
Freshen up, while I make tea and breakfast
Mrs Gaitonde's milk?
Damn, it's as empty as Screwwala's brain
Screwwala, why did you empty my gun? You know this man is dangerous
Cool down, Ms Marthodkar. There's a logic behind it
To hell with your logic. I need the slugs
I think Mrs Screwwala is in the bath
She'll go to the temple at nine
Come over, we'll sit here, relax and discuss
What the hell...? Come here...
Damn you...! - You are taking me wrong
Actually, it's time for Popat to ascend
What did you say?
Something's burning... I'll be back! Bloody Popat!
I need the slugs!
Have you called someone over?
Oh no
Why aren't you going to the temple today?
Won't you pray for us to be together for seven lifetimes?
No. The priest told me that this is my seventh lifetime
All right, get my balls from inside
Which one? Red? White? Blue?
All of them
He and his three balls!
I've spent a lifetime taking care of his balls
It's not opening! - Pull it inside, will you?
Come in. Of all the days, she didn't go to the temple today
I want the golis (Bullets)
Golis? (Pills)
No need, I'm taking the precautions. - What if something goes wrong?
I can't take chances. - Nothing will happen
I know my responsibilities. - Golis?
What golis is she talking about? - Pills
She's my patient. I can't give her the pills without examination
Now tell me - That swine...
The slink is dangerous. He was always referring to his popat (parrot)
Had I the slugs, I'd have drilled his skull!
That's why I emptied the gun
Let me explain the second phase of our operation
Every moment, every second...
you'll have to draw him towards you
How?
How, what?
Your gait...your sway...
your swing...
Want some water? - No
Then you'll have to feign restlessness
How? - Like this... like this
Hands down
You'll have to turn into a beautiful flower
The moment he pounces on you like a bee...
and lodges on you...
we will attack!
Damn, I forgot to wear glass bangles today!
I'm ruined!
The entire world is against my love
Nobody is cooperating, except Karan
Let me die!
What are you doing? - I want to die, Rekha!
What are you doing? - I have no friends except Karan
with you, Kiran
What...? How could you tell him that?
I was forced to say that, uncle. If we are all against him...
he might do something untoward. That's why I wanted to win his trust...
before I reason with him. In the meanwhile, give me the boy's name...
address and number
It's the loafer! - Easy
No. I'm Rekha, Kiran's sister
Sister! Can I talk to Kiran? I need to meet Kiran
No, you'll have to meet me first - You?
I think I must use her
All right, 4pm, at Barrista, Juhu
Why did you call me so urgently? What happened?
Know what? I'm in a terrible mess
What? - My room partner!
Something's come over her suddenly. She roams around...
scantily clad
How does she look? - That hardly matters
She won't let me breathe in peace even for a second
What does she do?
What happened?
Where's your skirt? - Skirt?
I threw it away for a wash
Actually, I'm so used to the old job...
where I had to wring them everyday
But ever since I came here, I don't find anything to wring
You aren't giving me any chance either. - What...?
Damn you! Oh well, let's go out somewhere
It's so hot inside. - Yes, yes
Then inside... - Nothing?
She doesn't wear anything! - Wow! Then?
Then she reads. Right before me!
She flips pages less, she spreads that more
And then she tells me...
"I love books, uncovered"
When I'm on the sofa... - See, that clock's not working
Damn it! It breaks down very often. It's all of 2 hours behind
At this rate, you will be left far behind
Just when I was leaving home...
May I say something? - Yes
For you, a hot...
steaming hot...tea?
Want it? - Sure
Careful, don't spill it
What... what are you doing? - Cleaning it up
Oh no, I'll wash it
That's my job. - But...
"I will clean it up"
Then what happened? - Then what happened!
I'm only human! You suggest me a way out
How long should I control? Had she not a mole on her chest...
I'd have... - Done what?
Kicked her out of the house!
I don't know why she's doing this. - She's putting you to test
Test? - Yes. She takes you for a womaniser
But you must prove that you are a firefly, not a bee
Ignore the fire that she's starting
Maintain your dignity. - Dignity!
How?
Ignore her. Cast her out of your mind. Forget her
Think of something else
I must go now. I got to meet Kiran's sister
Listen... don't you forget. - What?
Kiran's sister... dignity
Modern girls! Do they come to drink coffee? Or to bare all?
Rekha, you? - Karan? You?
Can I tell you something? - Go ahead
Will you be my "pastime"?
Like to eat something...? - Coffee will do
Your favourite, right? - Yes
But how do you know? - Because it's my favourite too
Besides, lovers always have same preferences
Meaning? - I dearly loved you
That slap changed me completely
I never imagined my slap would change you so much, Karan
Neither did I. - What compelled you...
to fall in love with Kiran? You'd have got any girl
I want only Kiran. Because Kiran is my first...
I mean... second and last love
And that comes from someone who has an affair with every other girl, eh?
What if Kiran finds out? - No Rekha, you won't tell Kiran
Please I beg of you
Besides, I spread the rumours of my exploits myself
The truth is, no girl has ever touched me
I mean, apart from you. I'm sorry. You will tell Kiran nothing, please
I beg of you!
Are you saying the truth? - I swear by Kiran
If you reveal all that to Kiran, I'll consume poison and kill myself
Karan, that's sugar
I'm a diabetic
Hello? I'm with him right now, uncle
What a performance
It's Rocky! - Hi Karan!
After years!
I know the boy, uncle. He was a normal boy before
Possible. Anything is possible these days
I'll have to take the help of my guru Dr Screwwala, to solve this case
Calm down, please... calm down!
I promise you. No female patient...
will come home to take pills from me any more
If anyone does, I'll shoot her! - Do that
Is Dr Screwwala in? - He doesn't treat females any more
Look, I'm not his patient, I'm his student
After patients, it's students now
What student! The pimp must've sent her
Do you realise, that one slap from you changed him completely?
The boy who used to flirt with girls is after boys now...?
Because his quest is true love
You slapped him first. Now you can use your hands to draw him towards you
Sir... I don't understand
I'll tell you, come
Thirty years back, my wife Parvati used to look exactly like you
Beautiful, fragile... but she doesn't look like that now
So it's natural for me to care not for the world, and take you in my arms
Because in you, I see a young Parvati
Imagine, if Parvati turns young and comes before me...
she can easily have me
Parvati! You have to do something
To bring your husband around, you will have to tone down
He wants the Parvati of the past!
Do it, Parvati!
What are you staring at?
How do I look?
But there's a problem. If someone touches my back...
I'll be right back
Rahul...come in please
No, no!
Lord help
Rekha... you?
Yes... it's me - You seem to have turned...
broad-minded
To open your drowsy eyes
No Rekha... I can't come to you
Why not? What do I lack?
You don't have what Kiran has
It's time to show him what I got
You must lure him to that place, become the bait...
so that he's left with no choice. Poor chap
It's the mare! My balls...?
"The spell"
"I have finally cast a spell"
"It's happened"
"Something's happened to me"
"Wake up..."
"my lover, from slumber"
"Check out..."
"the amazing season"
"This night won't come again..."
"nor these conversations"
"Read my restlessness"
"The pain rests on my breath"
"The colour deepens on my lips"
"Touch me, feel me"
"My heart is hysteric"
"My tresses, fragrant, my body, sandalwood"
"Touch me, feel me"
"My squirms, appealing"
"My loneliness, thirsting"
"Read my restlessness"
"How do I explain how I feel?"
"I might die of anguish"
"What do I do? Oh, what do I do?"
"The night is appealing, why must you torment me?"
"What keeps you from coming closer?"
"What do I do?"
"The distance is tormenting"
"It's imperative to meet"
"Read my restlessness"
Finally I have doubts about my own gender
For someone who rapes women of all age...
he doesn't even touch me!
I give I-IP
Operation Fail is going to fail because of me
The plan turned out to be more successful than I thought
But he didn't do anything
You know what "doing-nothing" is called in medical terms?
In easy words, it's called the lull before the storm
Officer, our mission has reached a very critical juncture
Now, if I see him once, if I touch him once...
I'll tell you the exact date, exact hour, exact minute, exact second...
when the volcano of lust inside him will burst!
We can't even waste even a minute. I must meet him
Tell him that, I'm your... I'm your...
Uncle
Uncle will be fine. - Uncle?
Okay, I'm your uncle and I'm a tailor
A tailor. And I want to stitch him a suit
Suit? - Use some logic
If he learns that I'm a doctor, I can't find out what I need
How's the tea?
My uncle is coming here in the evening
Uncle? What for? - To see you
To see me?
He's a tailor. Wants to stitch a suit for you
Fine, at least I don't have to spend for my wedding suit
What did you say? - Forget it
Tell me, what will I have to do? - Nothing. He'll ask few questions
Formalities, you see. - No problem
I was born out of a "formality"
Just consider that it'll be a test through fire
Test through fire? - If you pass...
Then?
Then... - So let's start
Your uncle is coming, so we must pick some vegetables
We have to buy. - Right. So, get ready
How was the tea?
But please don't cook the dinner
Every morning I come looking for them
But I don't find the rogues
Get this window fixed first. - Forget it. Popat's standing there
What...? - Oh yes, I never told you
Popat is a washerman. We borrowed some suits from him
We couldn't return it. He comes and stands there every morning
So you were talking about a man? - Yes
And I thought...! - I know what you must've thought
About the flying parrot, right?
Yes. - Too much
Let's take the main gate out today. - And if someone catches us?
C'mon, no one will catch us. - Popat?
Yes? Not getting Star Plus channel? I'll check it out
He's finally found a partner!
When did you marry?
Five days back. - Cute couple, aren't they?
Planning for kids? - Yes
Good if they come. - Well, if you need help, tell me
Evergreen and Eveready! - Will you help him?
In thirty years of our marriage, you could never give me a son
Will you help him? Shut up
The old man is debauch.
She's ruining me!
I've run out of money, but Kiran isn't here as yet
Where is Kiran? I told you, I'm not interested in seeing you
Don't be angry, Karan
It's impossible for Kiran to leave the house
Then I will go to see Kiran. - Karan, listen to me
I don't want to listen to you
What if Kiran has something to say?
Kiran has sent a message for you
If you hold my arms, I'll stay with you for ever.
Really? - I swear by you
Kiran's words, are they? - Yes
For a moment I thought it came from your heart
And if that's true, will you get over Kiran?
I have just one reason to live Kiran
Honestly, did Kiran tell you all that?
Yes
If I give you something, will you pass it on to Kiran?
Did you...?
It was for Kiran
Will you kiss Kiran for my sake?
For whom I've forsaken the entire world...
he thinks I'm unfaithful
I must do something, to have him back
Great dicky - Superb headlights
Amazing bonnet! It'll be fun driving this car
Can I have a test drive, boss?
Damn you...! - Wait. Hold this
What did you say? - Only for a test drive
Got a license? - Who are you, smartass?
Traffic police
Traffic police, eh?
What you are doing is wrong
I'm telling you, go back. There's danger inside
I know my husband's life is in danger. You told the guard, you're going to 205
And you bring me to 506. - The killer sneaks into this flat
Killer? Or is it you who sneaks in?
Look, if I hear a girl crying inside... - Come on in!
Greetings
I didn't know you're coming. You're welcome
Uncle... - Uncle? Because I'm with him
Where is he?
Inside
So his student is in the kitchen
Looking for something...? - Toilet
Ahead... to the left. Come...
Where did they go?
Was he right? Listen...!
With a butcher's knife, he...
I told you, it's dangerous inside
Forgive me. I suspected you
Have the pills, everything will be all right
I'll go and complete my work
She got scared for no reasons, and you know...
I know
Sorry sir, actually...
I have given her the pills
Sorry, I'm late. To be precise, because of the traffic...
and the pollution... open your mouth, son
Breathe in
The liver is filled with gases...
Let's sit there. - D'you have a fever?
All these arrangements...?
Your uncle is like my uncle
Who switched off the light? - Sorry, it must be the fuse
I'll be right back. - Where are you going?
Heavy breathing, faster pulse rate, bloodshot eyes...
Yours? - His
He's attempted the first attack? - On whom?
On my wife. - Oh no, he tripped...
He'll trip more
Are you all right?
The poor thing is not fine
Well, I only drink tea...
Made from special milk. - How do you know?
Logic. - You are too much, Urmila
Choose a ball
Why did you pick the red ball? - It was near
So he picks up whatever that's near him
Why did you get the balls? - For the suit
Yes, I'm not an ordinary tailor
I don't take measurements, I rather figure men out
Stand here... hands up
Hang on
Bend down
Up, bravo Lift your leg
See the ceiling
See up
Now for the shirt details...
pleat details... see up there, don't move
For blood details, I mean, for colour details
And now it's time for the trouser
Something is burning in the kitchen. - Yes, yes!
This detail is very important
Nothing's burning here, maybe there... - Hang on
But if someone sees the smoke... - Wait
But... - Stop!
Nothing is burning anywhere
But you said... - I was kidding
Uncle was getting overboard... - Yes, even I thought so
But he's your uncle
Besides, you told me about the test through fire
Are you hurt? - Oh no, nothing
I'll apply something on it And yes, take care of uncle
He's come here for the first time
Humiliation of Draupadi!
What are you doing here?
What is this picture doing here? - It's hung there
Why would a man fix a picture of a woman's humiliation in his wardrobe?
Why? - There's a logic behind it
And the day I get the results of all these tests...
you will find the logic too
Are you going somewhere? - Where am I going? I'm not going
Where am I going? I'm not... yes, yes...
I want some fresh air
But ma'am...
I was about to tell you!
Let me go! - Listen to me, ma'am...
I'm coming!
Urmila, the window!
Sir, the window... - Don't! She is my wife
Let her go! Let her go...
It's the window... Popat...
I failed. - I feel you've passed
But they won't misunderstand me, will they?
Whatever. Hardly matters to me
But it matters to me. I don't want to lose you
Why?
Because...
you are girl who can change my life
Who told you that?
My...
Your heart?
No. My astrologer
It's true. The astrologer told me that a girl will walk into my life...
who will bring me good luck
She'll have a mole on her chest
Which means, you allowed me to stay here only because of my mole?
No
Then?
Because of your heart
"Charm"
"my charm"
"You have turned sixteen"
"And my heart's going berserk"
"Eyes of sixteen..."
"nuances of sixteen..."
"you are fire of sixteen"
"I have turned sixteen"
"And your heart's gone berserk"
"From here, from there..."
"wherever I see you from..."
"you are incredible"
"From here from there..."
"from everywhere..."
"a thirst rises within me"
"Your body... or is it some magic?"
"I'm losing control"
"You are crazy about my tresses"
"My fragrance holds you in... a spell"
No, you are lying! - It's true, Kiran
He had professed his love for me. He was a normal boy five years back
But now he only loves me, you dig?
This is not love, Kiran!
If he loves you truly, why isn't he coming to see you?
He was here. But my parents didn't allow me to meet him
True lovers don't care for parents. They break doors and windows
Karan's letter
"I'll anxiously wait for you tonight at Disco 82"
"Will you come?" - Yes
But if you don't turn up, I'll think that you don't love me
I hope you must've received all my kisses...
that I passed on through Rekha on her cheeks
So you were conspiring, weren't you? - Kiran, why don't you understand?
You tried to twist things up and snatch my love away!
Listen to me, Kiran... - I had doubts earlier
What are you doing, Kiran? - Move it!
Sister Urmila, Kiran here. Please come over, quick
My own sister is trying to snatch my love away from me
Please hurry up
Get into the car. I'll get you married right away
Who are you to marry me off?
Are you crazy? You called me over, and you ask me who I am?
I called you...?
Are you Kiran? - No. I'm Kiran's sister Rekha
Aren't you ashamed to snatch your sister's love?
Sister? Whose sister? - Kiran's. You said you're her sister
Yes, I'm Kiran's sister, but Kiran is not my sister
What...? You are Kiran's sister, but she's not your sister?
Exactly. Kiran is not my sister
Are you drunk? You are her sister, but she is not your sister...?
How can Kiran be my sister? He is my brother
So he is your bro...!
That's the real Karan
I hope you know the facts now? - Yes
Inspector, if you can stop Karan from going to the Disco...
then my job will be very easy
Don't worry. He won't take Kiran's name ever again
"You are my Kiran! There's magic in your eyes'
D.K wears such filthy clothes
Expensive bungalow, but why didn't you spend on your clothes?
You barged into my house, used my bathroom and got into my clothes!
So angry, boss?
I have done you a favour for which you are going to gift me this bungalow
What favo u r?
I have kicked Kiran out of your life for good
What are you saying? - You wanted Kiran off your back
So I've done that. Now I'm after Kiran
How's that possible? - It's possible, boss
We're getting married soon. You'll surely be invited
Don't do this. You know...
in America, I realised that I can't live without Kiran
Then you should die
You are raving! Dare you touch Kiran, I'll kill you
Blue goatee! Are you playing a game? Catching and dropping
Just remember, Kiran is mine
You don't know me! I have cars, bungalows and hardcore gangsters
What have you got? - I have MP
What's MP?
Mumbai Police
The mention of police cracked him
It's you! I was going to see you
I'm in a terrible mess. I badly need your help
That's why I'm here
Have you noticed? Ever since inspector Urmila started staying with him...
no girl has become his victim
We are behind the right person. - I still maintain...
Rahul cannot be the killer. - Can you explain that to my wife?
I told you, it was an accident. - Accident?
And that picture in the house? Is that also an accident?
Picture?
A picture of The Humiliation of Draupadi
For the last two days, I've been analysing...
as to what could be the connection between the killer and the picture?
And today I found the connection
The connection is this saree
Saree? Draupadi's? - No. It's from Dadar Emporium
Inspector, you will have to wear this saree and meet the killer...
the moment he sees the saree, the monster inside him will come alive
I can't do this
I'm dead sure, he's innocent
I refuse to obey this order, sir. You can take any action you want
As for his logics...
have you noticed something, sir? Ever since we appointed him...
not a single girl has been raped Think about it
First D.K, now it is Karan! Both of them swore love for me...
and turned their backs! What do they take me for?
"My love..."
"love is not a deal"
You, here? - I am wherever you are
Walk into my heart again
D'you promise you won't betray me again?
You won't desert me? - Never, darling
In fact, we'll go to America We'll have a small cottage...
a small garden outside the cottage...
and after a couple of years...
we'll have two or three, cute, wee little...
What? - Mango trees
But how will we go? Papa is ready, carrying a rusted sword
I don't care for rusted swords!
Who is out there? Where's my rusted sword?
Nobody, daddY
I'll come tonight at 2, to take you away. Be ready
You must come, D.K. I'll wait for you
Commissioner, I know that boy isn't...
I'll call you later
How come you're back so early?
That should be my question. Didn't you go hunting jobs today?
Yes... I found one. - Really?
The job I quit before... I've joined again
Accept a gift from me on this occasion
I have designed it myself. Especially for you
What's inside it? - Check it out yourself
Sure... leave it
A saree!
Inspector, you will have to wear this saree and meet the killer...
the moment he sees the saree, the monster inside him will come alive
I hope Screwwala's words don't turn true
What's on your mind? - Shall I say the truth?
I... I... I want to do something to you
Do what?
I want to keep you in a temple and worship you for ever
Forgive me - Forgive you? What for?
Because I have to leave - You are leaving?
Have I wronged you?
You have done no wrong to me
That's why I have to go - But tell me the reason
I thought, you are in...
I don't know why you are leaving But I'm sure you will return
No astrologer says that. My heart says so
Isn't it true?
She's reached my house too, incognito?
She won't let me settle down
It's you, Karan! Why do you look so hassled?
My love is being snatched away from me, friend
The swine, D.K, played a cunning game
What? - He set the police behind me
Kiran is not taking my calls either
Why don't you go over? - How?
With a rusted sword her father threatens to hack me
I don't know what to do
I got an idea
Who are you? - You said we mustn't get caught
This man is still at large
But I called five men. You are only four
The fifth one is a diabetic
You know what you are supposed to do? - What?
All you got to do is bring Kiran to me
Fine. - Kill anyone who stands in the way
Looks like a stinking rich family
Pick up the girl and take her to our hangout. Thrash D.K
Leave me! Who are you? What are you doing?
Help!
Bush, what are you doing here? - In the bush...
All right, go and help Osama
In the bush!
Go upstairs and find out what's happening
Where are you taking Kiran? Let her go
Wait! Where's the other one? - Upstairs. Ironing clothes
No, no!
I won't let you tag your name to this design
Meaning? - My friend is marrying Kiran...
in the temple of Goddess Kali. Stop us if you have the guts
Take that
Attack! I'll kill you!
Calm down aunt, everything will be fine
I know where they've taken Kiran
You...? - Come, I'll explain in the car
What did you say?
If I wear a saree, he will pounce on me
So I got into one. Know what he said?
He will take me to the temple, and worship me
There's a logic behind this too. I'm sure he's a pious killer
Thou art my parent... And murder!
He needs a good doctor. I've taken enough
Yes Havaldar?
Block all exits
Another murder. Near a temple
And this time, the lady wore a saree
But sir... - What have you to say now, officer?
You were challenging my theory, my knowledge
Did you see now? It all happened because of you, inspector
Had you been with him for a little while more...
he'd have attacked a trained police officer, not a helpless woman
You tell me, who needs help? Me? Or you?
But sir... - Enough. No need to argue, Urmila
Take a police unit pronto, and keep an eye on that building
Let it move
D.K seems to be very influential
But D.K, no matter what hurdle you put before me...
I shall break it!
Ensure eh doesn't escape. Get in the jeep!
The police is killing police. Follow him!
The jeep won't start. - They give us such bad vehicles.
And they question us as to why we reach late.
What keeps him? It's already morning,and he's not yet come
Sir, I repeat, I can't solemnize a wedding
I'm an expert at performing the last rites
There's hardly a difference between the two. Just chant the mantras
You picked up a wreath. It's bad, sir
Priest, I'll whack you! I'll kill you
Just do as I say!
Hail The Lord of Death... Oh no...
A corpse is here!
Not a corpse, it's my love! Sit down and chant the mantras
Gift-wrapped her? Nice
She had a fall, she is unconscious. - What...?
Forget it. Hurry up, D.K is coming!
Come on
Who will make the donation? - Donation?
Who will give the bride away, he asks. He will do it. Get on with it
Hurry up. - May the soul rest in peace
What's he raving?
What's going on here?
This is wrong, please stop it, Karan
Nothing is wrong. I'll kill anyone who comes between me and Kiran
I'll kill too!
Sir, I'm an expert in performing last rites. Let's cremate them together
Give Kiran to me! - To you?
Yes. Kiran is my first love - Get lost! Kiran is my love
What's going on? You said you are Kiran's friend
Yes, I'm also a friend. Give Kiran to me!
What now?
Karan, perform the wedding right before him
No Karan!
You can't do this! - Let me go
Stop wasting time. Apply the vermilion
Kiran will belong to me today! - What are you up to, Karan?
Kiran...?
Get up... - Who did you pick up?
Were you going to get me married to him?
Shall I perform the last rites? - Shut up!
Thank God you are here! Wow, you've brought the garlands too
Let's marry. - Marry? Who's wedding?
Our wedding. - We married two hours back
We came to take your blessings. - To hell with blessings! Let her go
Sister-in-law, come on. I picked up someone else. Come on
Sister-in-law? Whose sister-in-law? - Rahul's sister-in-law
Let's go and marry
No one comes in my way!
I'll take Iran to America.
Karan, save Kiran! - That's what I'm doing
Kiran is over there! - Kiran is here
I'm not Kiran, I'm Naina! - Naina?
Yes. That's Kiran, my brother! - I know Kiran is your bro...!
Kiran is your...brother? - Yes
Those messages...?
All those messages were mine, and those kisses too
You didn't know that Kiran was a man, right?
Then with whom did you do all those things?
Did what? - One wild... one night stand
Because of you I kidnapped a man
What if you I girl finds out? - Now who's your girl?
My sister-in-law to-be
By the way, did you do the checkup?
I don't play blind, like you. - In my senses...
when I asked for someone's hand, it landed on my cheek
All because of you. Had you not spread those rumours...
about your fake one-night-stands, my hand wouldn't have found your cheek
Can I say something? - Shoot
Will you be my "pastime"?
Fo r eve r?
So where do I drop you? - To my fate
News from the police headquarters
The serial killer who raped and brutally murdered the victims...
has been identified
This is the killer
If you have any information on him...
please do not forget to contact the police headquarters
A rock for 2 bucks! It breaks skulls, guaranteed
A rock for 2 bucks! Hurry up - Give me a big rock.
See Commissioner...
he not only likes to collect body parts of females...
but he also likes to collect clothes. There must be a logic behind it too
What's going on? A shoot?
No idea. Everyone is looking up, so I'm looking too
It's a bank holiday. Keep watching
The monster who committed five murders lives there
What? - Yes
Must be the landlord
Rock for Rs.2 - Let me have one
He's the killer!
Who? - He's the killer!
I haven't killed! I have done nothing
He's over there! Get him!
How's it possible? - I don't understand either
Hop in
What happened? - Ran out of gas
If only I knew what's wrong. I'm myself hassled
Urmila? In an inspector's uniform?
D'you know her?
She's your sister-in-law to-be. - What...?
C'mon, get out!
Urmila... - Address me as Inspector Marthodkar
What...? - Shut up and get in
Sit behind. - Fine
Stop! Stop! Ma'am, you left me behind
Stop, sir
What? Urmila arrested him?
And as usual, you throw your hands up the air and come back
What are you doing, sir?
Think logically, sir. She's herself arrested in his love
She'll take him to a railway station instead of a police station...
and vamoose with him. All my efforts will go down the drain, sir
Chase Urmila. Hurry
Here... it's left hand drive. - So?
Hold it like this
$'l:OP
I did not rape anyone, nor have I... - I know
That's why I came to take you away. We must escape
Why? We haven't done anything. - Because everyone suspects you
If only I find out who the real killer is
Uma Shankar Tripathi is his man. And he's trying to distract us
But Dr Screwwala, there's no harm in meeting him once...
Praise the Lord
Uma Shankar. I had called
Old chaps. Time to retire
You said you know about the killer
I know
What do you know? - I won't tell you just like that
Then how will you tell us? - Look, it's a very hot news
And for that, I want all the media, all the television channels...
all the radio channels and the press...
I want them all right here!
I've called all of them. - I can see that
What you know about the killer?
He used to live in a small hamlet
One day his father told him...
"Son, a common man's name appears on paper only twice"
"One, in his wedding invitation card"
"Two, after his death. Obituary on the local paper"
That's when he decided...
to get his name splashed all over the world, on his own strength
If you believe that I'm innocent, then stop the car, Urmila
When you are with me, I don't care for the world
No one can harm me Nothing will happen to me
Because you are my destiny, my fortune
And now, let me try my luck I know nothing else
How do I know so much about the killer, eh?
Because I'm the killer
Uma Shankar Tripathi, in person
I knew you won't believe that I have a hand in it
That's why I brought you this Take a look
Where's the finger? Fingers are dangerous.
Here's the finger
Where are you?
He's right before me! I'm going to arrest him
What...?
Turn around
Why did they turn around?
The astrologer was right. You came and changed my life
I knew that he was killing only to make a name for himself
So I deprived him of his name
I planted someone else in his place
I projected someone else as the killer...
and got his posters glued all over the city
The killer couldn't take it
And... as I told the Commissioner...
the killer has walked in on his own...
to surrender himself
Who else was involved in this operation?
To solve any case, Dr Screwwala needs no... I needed help!
And this is the brave and dauntless police officer Urmila Marthodkar
Where is the boy whose picture you splashed everywhere?
He was a social worker. He rendered his service and went back
No sir, he's with us, right here
Mr Commissioner, time's up - Yes, yes
Now we present you the merciless serial killer...
Uma Shankar Tripathi
I have become famous!
Why did you call in a band for him? - We have to
Why do you have to? - He might become a minister tomorrow
What was the motive? - No motis at all (Moti- Fat)
All my victims were slim babes. - I mean, purpose?
Purpose? I want to make a career in politics
A career in politics? - It's very clear. For a peon's job...
you got to have a masters degree. In politics, you need a criminal record
My criminal record is ready. - But the Commissioner said that...
the motive behind the murders is sex. - The Commissioner is out of his mind
Must you believe him? I can buy sex anywhere
I told him that. - You did? Are you from my village?
More questions, please. I'm enjoying it
Swine!
Bloody impostor! For all my efforts, you snatched the adulations, swine!
I'll fix you! Guys, he's not the criminal
I'll commit another crime. I'll shoot you!
I don't know him. - The whole world wants to talk to you
I've never seen him! Why me?
I don't know anything. Why did they pick me up?
I just run a laundry. - Laundi? (Girls)
Why didn't you meet me before? You could've been a great help
No problem. Now that we are together in jail...
we'll run a laundry here, and make it big
Bless you!
Why did you risk your life to do this job?
I never knew my life...
Actually, I knew my life was in danger
But I did it just for the sake of...
my love
Shall we...?
But I won't enter the house through the back door
Now that you are here, I'll move ahead in life
But you must come to my house, to marry me
Will you come?
Yes. - When?
Don't scare me, sis-in-law, else I won't narrate stories to your children
Friend, you have found the girl... - With a mole
You've also found your... - Rekha
For life's endless tribulations, let's have a photograph
Music, man!